by Joyce Newman Scott
SYNOPSIS:
Two woman are driving home from Orlando to Miami. They have decided to become actresses late in life. While on route home they run out of gas. When suddenly, a handsome stranger pulls over to help them. Question is, should they go with him? OR is he a TED BUNDY TYPE threat?
SETTING:
A car late at night.
CHARACTERS:
ANNIE, female, 38, easy going.
JEANNIE, 38, and trying to be positive, but aggressive.
MAN IN COWBOY HAT: Tall handsome dude, willing to help.
1989 Florida Turnpike
It’s night and two women are driving in a blue Buick down the Turnpike heading from Orlando to Miami.
(On stage, this can be as simple as two chairs and a steering wheel)
They are returning from an audition for the TV show Divorce Court, which apparently did not go as well as expected. Neither woman wants to admit that the audition was a flop. JEANNIE is 38, married, with two children. She is driving.
ANNIE, is also 38 married, no children. Both women decided to become actresses late in life.
ANNIE
(justifying it)
No, I don’t think the audition went badly… I mean I was proud of us.
JEANNIE
Yeah, we knew all our lines.
It wasn’t Shakespeare.
ANNIE
(laughs)
JEANNIE
Yeah… I’d say they were impressed that I did so much with what little they wrote. (Grins proudly) I improvised.
ANNIE
(skeptically) How do you improvise with one line?
JEANNIE
When the casting director said “Thank you, next” I kept right on objecting, gesturing to the jury.
ANNIE
In Divorce Court, you don’t get a jury. Are you always this cocky?
JEANNIE
Demonstrates I have creativity and insight in case they turn this into a new series, or a murder trial. Matlock here we come. (Beat) Aren’t you glad I insisted we stop for dinner, before we got on the turnpike?
ANNIE
Well, Ms Cocky, which agent called you on this, I forgot to ask? I had six agents call me… It was tough, I had to choose.
JEANNIE
I had seven agents call me. I know what you mean..
There’s a moment of competition in the air.
ANNIE
Rita was the most aggressive, so I went with her. Besides she only takes ten percent. Hell, the job only paid $150. And after taxes… zip.
JEANNIE
Look, it’s another credit for our resume. We have to visualize our big goal. Hollywood. Gotta think positive. I learned that at Theatre Arts College. Look at me. I’m always positive. I’ll book this job. Say it.
ANNIE
I’m positive I gotta pee…
JEANNIE
I thought you went before we left the restaurant.
ANNIE
That was an hour ago. ..
Suddenly… there’s a strange quiet, and the car starts coasting … slowly along.
They both stare at each other in horror.
JEANNIE
It can’t be anything serious… maybe the carburetor. Or maybe a coil came loose, or the battery died.
ANNIE
How the hell do you know anything about a carburetor?
JEANNIE
I listen to Ted’s car shows. He loves that hot rod shit. And I try to support his hobbies by listening.
The car starts to coast over to the side. ..and stops. There’s a moment of silence as the girls stare at the darkness outside.
ANNIE
(squirming)
I’m going to burst a bladder if I don’t pee and there’s no bathroom.
JEANNIE
(points)
You have no choice…go outside. Squat carefully in case there’s poison ivy.
ANNIE
There’s a swamp right there with alligators and maybe a man who wants to kill us. And you’re worried about poison ivy.
Jeannie gets a flashlight from her purse
JEANNIE
I was a Girl Scout.
ANNIE
Do you happen to have a switch blade in there to go with it?
JEANNIE
No, but I’ve got a nail clipper with a short file.
ANNIE
You’re a regular Macgyver.
JEANNIE
Scream if he gets too close, I’ll come help.
ANNIE
What are you going to do, read him the Girl Scout manual and pin a badge on him?
JEANNIE
Hurry up, I’ll cover you.
Annie gets out of the car, goes to the side and relieves herself, then runs back into the car.
While Jeannie examines the outside of the car.
Once back in the car: Annie shines the flashlight on the dashboard.
ANNIE
Oh shit. Here’s the problem. We’re out of gas. You were supposed to stop for gas after dinner. You forgot.
JEANNIE
Wait a minute. I don’t like the tone of your accusatory voice. You should have said something about gas earlier.
ANNIE
I did! Before dinner, I said, let’s stop for gas. And you said, “I will. I’m hungry. Don’t nag me. I’m an adult. I’ll remember after dinner.” And now we’re out of gas halfway between Miami and Orlando at 2 a.m.
JEANNIE
Well, why didn’t you stop before we got to the restaurant, when you were driving?
ANNIE
Because it was your turn to drive and pay for the gas. We planned to divvy up, remember? Share the trip. Share the driving. Share the cost. This audition was supposed to be our big acting break. Our chance to go to Hollywood.
JEANNIE
Look, I’ll only take 50% of the blame. That’s all. Only 50%. Now, calm down. Let’s just think it out. We have to stick together. This is bad. Really bad. We need each other. So let’s not turn into vipers. We need to comfort each other. Work together.
ANNIE
You’re so right. I’m sorry.
Annie reaches over and hugs Jeannie
ANNIE
There’s got to be an emergency phone down the road. One of us should walk to it and call for help.
JEANNIE
Great idea! (Pause) So, why don’t you go?
ANNIE
And what are you going to do?
JEANNIE
I’ll stay and protect the car in case someone stops to help us.
ANNIE
Me? Walk. Alone. Down a dark road. For maybe a mile or two?… Why don’t you go? I’ll stay here and protect my car.
JEANNIE
I have a bad sense of direction. I’ll get lost.
ANNIE
So much for positivity. What do we do now? Wait?
They sit, wait… stare out…
JEANNIE
If it gets late enough maybe our husbands will get worried and try to find us. Or send out a search party? Right?
ANNIE
It’s two in the morning. My husband is sound asleep.
JEANNIE
Mine too. We’re doomed.
ANNIE
I asked Mark to buy me a cell phone. He said “No, it’s too expensive. Besides who are you going to call?” If we had it now, we could call road service for help.
JEANNIE
You know, I asked Ted for one too. He said “No. The phone rates are too high.” So… this is really all their fault.
ANNIE
No, it’s our own fault. We needed to be more independent.
(Two spot lights from stage right and stage left flash on (to indicate a truck approaching)
A tall well-built man wearing jeans and a cowboy hat walks up to their car and flashes a light in the window.
MAN IN COWBOY HAT
Are you ladies in trouble? You need help?
JEANNIE
No, we’re fine…. We just… We’re actresses coming from a big audition in Orlando. And we…
ANNIE
Yes, we need help. We stupidly ran out of gas. Because my friend…
That was positive.
JEANNIE
(to Annie)
MAN IN COWBOY HAT
Big time actresses. For what show?
ANNIE
Divorce Court. It’s a huge starring role.
MAN IN COWBOY HAT
I’ll be. That’s my wife’s favorite show. I never met an actress before. Tell you what. There’s a gas station just down the road. Why don’t you girls hop in and I’ll drive you down, I’ll get the gas and bring it back and fill your tank. How’s that sound?
ANNIE
That’s really nice of you—
JEANNIE & ANNIE
But can we have a minute to discuss this?
MAN IN COWBOY HAT
Sure. Take your time. Famous actresses. My wife is never gonna believe this.
The man in the hat stands to the side of the car as the girls talk it over.
While he kicks dirt off his boots.
The girls move to the opposite end of the car
and whisper.
What do you think?
JEANNIE
(to Annie)
ANNIE
We could separate. One of us goes. The other stays here and watches my car.
JEANNIE
(turns her back to the man)
What if he’s a killer praying on innocent women? I mean we’re perfect prey for a Ted Bundy copycat. I mean look at him. He’s tall, handsome but we don’t know a thing about him.
They study the man in the cowboy hat
ANNIE
Okay, okay, look, He’s about 6’4”. And you’re 5” and weight about 130 lbs. And I’m 5’5 and weight 125. Together if he did anything funny we could fight him off.
JEANNIE
Excuse me, but I’m 5’1” and weigh 120. And I work out and I’m in great shape.
MAN IN COWBOY HAT
Ladies, I don’t mean to interrupt your argument. But…it’s getting late. And I’ve got a cooler full of fresh caught Mahi-Mahi. I want to get home for breakfast.
JEANNIE
Fish?
MAN IN COWBOY HAT
Obviously, you’re concerned so, if you want, you stay here. I can drive to the station and bring the gas back to you. Does that sound better?
ANNIE
Can we have another minute?
MAN IN COWBOY HAT
Sure, why not.
The man in the cowboy hat reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a fishing knife and starts to clean off the mud from his other boot…as he waits patiently.)
ANNIE
(whispers)
That cowboy has a knife, and we have a nail file. And by the way, there’s a rifle strapped to his truck roof. Why would he have a rifle? (Beat) In acting class we were taught to read the person you’re talking to. . .Look for motivation. We need some kind of sign.
They stare at the man in the cowboy hat and he stares back at them, grins. He sees them staring at his truck and rifle.
MAN IN COWBOY HAT
Protection. This is black bear country.
ANNIE
That’s enough motivation for me to go with him.
JEANNIE
(to Annie) Maybe we should take a chance.
ANNIE
(to Man in Cowboy hat)
Since we’re going to be travel companions, can I at least ask your name?
MAN IN COWBOY HAT
They call me PW… PW Charming. I own the fish market in town. Maybe you’ve heard of it… “Prince Charming’s Sea Food.”
JEANNIE
Prince Charming…like the Fairy Tale?
ANNIE
That’s our sign. Works for me…We’re coming with you.
JEANNIE
How do we thank you, P.W.?
P.W.
I’m gonna need an autograph for my wife.
The girls pull out a headshot from the backseat
JEANNIE
Our husbands are never going to believe us.
ANNIE
We’ll tell them the truth. We drove from Miami to Orlando. Auditioned for a movie. Aced the part. Had a mechanical malfunction on the turnpike. And got rescued by Prince Charming. What’s not to believe?
JEANNIE
They’ll believe it when they get the charge account bill for the new cell phones.
ANNIE
Hollywood, here we come!
THE LIGHT FADES